Monday, February 05, 2007
He Commanded our Fathers to Teach
My post on Mark Driscoll's Death by Ministry provoked a bit of debate on the other side of the world with Sherrin and Phil getting into some conversation. It certainly was not meant to discourage men from going into the ministry or women from marrying them! It was just to remind us of the pressures our pastors are under and what we can do to help that, as well as offering advice to any of us who are busy.
As I said to Sherrin, several of my friends have said, "I'm never going to marry a minister" and married nice men who then, a few years down the line, felt they were called to the ministry. They are all minister's daughters - is there a connection?
I think there must be many wonderful things about growing up as a child of the manse, as we would say in Scotland. I see the Christian maturity of my friends whose fathers are ministers, because of the Bible teaching they have received, the other ministers and missionaries they have met and learned from, and the practical examples of Christian service, hospitality and fellowship.
A couple of books that friends recommended to me as a minister friend of mine and I were considering courtship were Who'd be a Minister's Wife by Heather Tinker and We're in this Together: Living with Leadership by Celia Bowring. If you are heading down that line, I can commend them both to you.
He established a testimony in Jacob
and appointed a law in Israel,
which he commanded our fathers
to teach to their children.
Psalm 78:5
As I said to Sherrin, several of my friends have said, "I'm never going to marry a minister" and married nice men who then, a few years down the line, felt they were called to the ministry. They are all minister's daughters - is there a connection?
I think there must be many wonderful things about growing up as a child of the manse, as we would say in Scotland. I see the Christian maturity of my friends whose fathers are ministers, because of the Bible teaching they have received, the other ministers and missionaries they have met and learned from, and the practical examples of Christian service, hospitality and fellowship.A couple of books that friends recommended to me as a minister friend of mine and I were considering courtship were Who'd be a Minister's Wife by Heather Tinker and We're in this Together: Living with Leadership by Celia Bowring. If you are heading down that line, I can commend them both to you.
He established a testimony in Jacob
and appointed a law in Israel,
which he commanded our fathers
to teach to their children.
Psalm 78:5
10 Comments:
Ever since I met David I haveknown he felt a call to the ministry.It is a terrifying thing! I have seen so muhc recently of what Pastors have to deal with....and that is only the tip of the ice berg.Butif God wants us there then HE will euip us. That is what I hope in.It may never happen, but if it does I will need grace for every second!
I think it is always important to keep our Pators and their families in our prayers. I don't think it is easy for any of them, and yet I agree that it can certainly be a blessing to be raised in a Christ-centered home.
And yes - you may absolutely have hot chocolate. I just might join you.
i love the look of those books! might just have to look them up. :) i used to want to be a pastor's wife...now i have no idea...not because of anything connected to recent blog postings! i'm interested in ministry, at any rate.
btw, my morocco date was october...but it may go as early as end august/early september.
Kirsty - maybe you can answer this question that a few of us were discussing at the weekend, partly after me bringing up these posts. Can a woman who is not married or not married to a minister feel called to be a minister's wife?
Susanna - you will be in our prayers, especially if David becomes a minister. I would recommend those books in the meantime!
Linda - can I have cream on it as well or is that just being greedy? ;-)
I am joining in from the other side of the world! I had a discussion with an older women at a conferance a few years back, and we talked about how to decide who to marry. She warned me about the trap of marrying a man for his profession, while a man in ministry might have charteristics we might like, especially if we are involved with similar work. There is no garentee that the man will stay in whatever profession he is currently in for the rest of his life. Many men are also involved with the church and leading studies or Youth group without being a minister. If we still feel the desire to support someone who is involved with the church then it would be wise to start cultivating those skills now, (being involved with hospitality, helping with Sunday School or Youth ministry) Not only will this prepare us if God has chosen for us to marry someone in ministry. But it will also be a help to the church now. Whatever God has in store for our future he will prepare and equip us for it day by day.
Felicity - thank you for visiting. I know that you'll have seen my comment on Sherrin's blog, but I'll copy it here for those who don't read it (yet - if you don't read her blog, you should!)
"That is the exactly the sort of thing I said to her. I can understand the desire to have that sort of relationship and family with all the benefits and joys of it we have been speaking about, but I am not sure it can extend to being called to be a minister's wife in the absence of a minister husband!
Does that mean if she marries someone who does not go into the ministry that she has married the "wrong one"? Will she reject perfectly suitable men on the basis that they are not ministers?
I think all of us, wherever we end up though, can use our womanly calling to offer hospitality, mentoring, friendship, and share some of the (I don't want to use this word as it has bad connotations but equally I think our ministers' wives are expected to do so much more than anyone else) burdens that they face."
Hey! I'm back online again (for now, at least!) and I wanted to check up on you. It seems you enjoyed your time in Peru!
But this has to be quick, so while I appreciated your post, one thing left me with a question no one else has talked about:
So what did you decide about your minister friend? (I'm sorry if I pry!)
Praying for you!
Lovely to have you back, Jessie!
In the end, we decided against courtship. It was a prayerful decision after much discussion as there were so many different issues involved. We wanted to be sure of things as it would have meant me moving to another country and learning a new language, along with all the other changes that marriage brings. We talked a lot about cross-cultural relationships and were surprised at the number of things that came up even though we are both European, such as how to bring up children between two cultures and with two languages.
Despite our differences and because of the way we went about things, we have remained great friends.
Great post. I found you thru The Party.
If I were single, sure I'd be a pastor's wife ;o)
More importantly, I'd want to be with the right man, whether he was a pastor or not.
PS..in college I actually dated a young man one summer, right before he went out of state for seminary. Fine young man. Never heard from him again. This was about 18 years ago.
Two years ago, he showed up at my church, as one of the new assistant pastors. Gotta love it ;o) I'm still friends with his extended family and they can't believe I actually went out with him, way back when he was, as they call him, a GEEK! His wife says she "fixed" him ;o)
He was a lovely young man. He took me on a date to the circus and we went to youth group.
Best wishes.
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